


Burdened and Buried; Pick Me Up

by avacat123



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abuse, Blood, Child Abuse, Gen, Gore, I don't know what happened but here this is, Its a vent fic, Medical Procedures, Minecraft Mechanics, SMPEarth had unlimited lives, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, also i love the business bay boys and miss them every day of my life, also it's not like accurate to actual medical procedures, be careful please, but like not very descriptive???, major trigger warning, this is dark and sad, you get three lives in private servers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27944222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avacat123/pseuds/avacat123
Summary: Tommy is exiled. Alone and betrayed old habits that never really died come back to haunt him. Luckily there are still people who love him, who never stopped loving them.OrI write my first vent fic and seriously hurt Tommy. Major trigger warning please be careful when reading this and don't read it if it will hurt you.
Relationships: Bitzel & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Business Bay Boys, LukeOrSomething & Tommyinnit, Time Deo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wispexe & TommyInnit
Comments: 38
Kudos: 485





	Burdened and Buried; Pick Me Up

The wind and the trees sway in a perfect symphony of how fucked Tommy is right now. Exiled from the nation he created, the country he bled and died for, over the words of calculating god that does not care. His best friend, now said in bitter disappointment, ordered him to leave so that the piteous nation would not face repercussions. So that New L’Manberg would be able to be free from Dream. Does President Tubbo not realize they will never be free? L’Manberg has always been exactly where Dream wants it: under his control. The puppet master pulls the strings that tangle up every single member of this SMP and isn’t it a bit funny that Tommy can only see the wires wrapped around his neck as they strangle him? 

Tommy is alone. The rain batters his solitary form and it feels a bit like absolution. There is no one to see him cry or wail over the unjust fate that has befallen him. There is no one to watch as he adds more blood and scars to the collection that makes up his wretched body. Tommy is made up of the people who betray him. His parents left him with bruises and a sense of self that is akin to shattered glass. Wilbur left him with hope and pride and then crushed it all in an explosion that killed any semblance of peace. Techno left him with fighting prowess unmatched and the feeling of a broken clavicle. Philza taught him what love was and then ripped it away like Tommy was a puppy getting left on the roadside for being too annoying. From Tubbo he got blinding loyalty and the searing feeling of betrayal like a knife to the back.

Tommy remembers another family. Boys who fought god and laughed in the face of certain doom. He remembers a Santa hat and sunglasses laughing with him, never at him. He remembers blonde hair that sparkled in the sun and buildings that towered above the whole world. He remembers flashes of blue and fighting side by side with someone that always had his back. He remembers a boy, older than him, that taught him to heal and love and in the end betrayed him. Business Bay. He wants so desperately to go back to those times when he was younger, kinder, full of life and love. He misses them.

His arms are bleeding. The dagger slips from his hands and lands with a soft thunk. The rain pours harder and his blood mixes into the earth. A laugh bubbles up. He wishes he could talk to those boys one last time. Tommy grabs desperately for his communicator, his arms burn, the slashes crack at the edges and blood seeps from them. Lighting flashes overhead the boom resounds throughout the forest, scars glitter white, and a call is made.

_We Killed God & All We Got Was A Stupid Groupchat_

_Santa: I just watched my fucking minion die. I hate it here :(_

_Bitz: LMAO_

_\----Innit is Calling----_

Deo wakes up to the loud piercing ring of his communicator. There’s only four contacts that Deo actually has the ringer on for. And glancing to his clock it’s clear that this call isn’t going to be pleasant. He bolts out of bed and grabs the communicator. Tommy’s contact flashes and Deo doesn’t hesitate to hit the accept button. Neither boy realizes that Tommy called the group chat, neither realizes that three more people accept the call. Deo sees his little brother sobbing and heartbroken and something within him breaks. Who dared to harm the boy who shone like the sun? Who would ever look at Tommy and think here is a boy we can ruin? Why did it have to Tommy? Could Deo fix this? 

“Tommy… what happened?” the heartbroken voice of Luke resounds from Deo’s speakers, making him jump.

“Luke?!” I didn’t mean to- shit! I’m sorry, I’m so so fucking sorry. It’s all gone wrong, I fucked it up again.” Tommy replies. Deo’s heart squeezes in his chest, the boy on the other side of the phone sounds nothing like the hyperactive and chaotic boy he left after SmpEarth closed down. Tommy sounds fucking terrfied, where was his family, the older brother who stole him from the Business Bay?

“Tommy. TOMMY! You need to calm down and breathe. It’s gonna be okay.” and there’s Bitzel always the best at getting them to focus on the task at hand. Deo’s phone dings.

_Wispy: Get a message to Dream right now. We need on the server, Deo he’s fucking bleeding._

Deo’s head shoots up and sure enough Tommy is covered in blood. His arms are tattered, flesh hanging off them at awkward angles. And Jesus fucking Christ there is a word in his flesh, “LIABILITY” carved across his left arm. Deo shakily opens a conversation with the god of DreamSMP.

_Deo: I need you to whitelist four people for your SMP._

_Dream: no_

_Deo: Do want to add another fucking murder to your legacy. Tommy is fucking bleeding out in the rain and I know you hate him or something but I won’t let Tommy kill himself, not again._

_Dream: wh_

_Dream: tommy isnt i just saw him_

_Dream: what do you mean?? Again??? Give me a list of names now_

Deo tunes back into the conversation as he mindlessly types out all of their usernames. Tommy is sobbing still, apologizing for things they could never truly understand without him explaining it in full. He shoots off a text to the group chat he, Wisp, Luke, and Bitz made back in the SMPEarth days.

_Tommyinnit Protection Squad_

_Leader: Get ready to move. Dream is letting us on the Smp. Luke get medical supplies, we’ll need them._

_General: On it._

“And then I got exiled again. Can you believe that? I’ve already died twice for these fucking people and they don’t even care about me! Wilbur said he’d come with me but then he backed out because his stupid fucking son pouted when he tried to follow Dream. I wish I had never come to this stupid fucking server. I don’t think I’ve gone a day without hurting myself. And isn’t it funny that I used the present Techno got me when we were all back in Business Bay. I’m not sure he intended for it to be used to create so many scars but hey! No one ever checked under the bandages I wear anyway.” Deo sees Tommy pick up the dagger, a beautiful and ornamental design on it, it was never meant to be used in the first place and Deo’s heart thunders in his rib cage. “I guess if anyone should see my last moments it should be people that actually care about me. You do care about me, right? Actually don’t answer that I don’t think I can handle it if you guys hate me too.”

“Tommy, Toms please we love you so much. Don’t- Don’t do this please I can’t watch this again. Please, Please hold on for a little longer. We can come and get you! Dream is letting us on the SMP, we can leave Tommy, all of us. We can be together again! Just put down the dagger please.” Wisp’s agonized voice calls out begging the boy to wait for his family to save him.

Deo feels the pull of another world calling out to him. He looks at the three other terrified faces who also feel the pull. A wet laugh is pulled out of Tommy’s throat.  
“One more life!” the boy sings, “Maybe I can finally be at peace now.” the world shifts and Deo’s vision goes dark.

Wisp hits the ground running. Dream had sent him the general coordinates for where Tommy was hiding out. What could be Tommy’s grave, his mind unhelpfully pointed out. He could hear Bitzel still talking to Tommy on the phone, Luke’s bag full of bandages and healing potions rattling on his hip, and Deo’s loud footsteps catching up to him. It’s familiar, Wisp thinks with a hysterical laugh, all of them have felt this terror before back when Business Bay was whole and having fun. When Tommy told them of his past, told them of beatings and wounds and harsh words and being so so so so unbelievably sad that he tried to finish the job his parents started only to be thwarted by the god of his original server kicking him into SMPEarth to try and save his life. Wisp remembers when Tommy’s bandages came undone for the first time, after a dumb skirmish with the Antarctic Empire. The kid always wore those bandages, tied tight around his arms and up his shoulders and no one ever thought anything about them. The distress he felt when watching them tumble down the boy’s arms, after being cut by Pete’s sword, to reveal stark purple scars and oozing flesh wounds of various sizes cluttering the pristine white skin that lay underneath them was unmatched even to this day. Wisp was able to coax Tommy into coming back to their home and got him to take care of the wounds. Tommy went to bed that night with new heavy duty bandages and a healthy dose of antibiotic cream.

When Tommy awoke he told them of his self-harming and how he didn’t see much point in living. The trees whip past Wisp’s vision and he can feel a nasty cut form on his arm, but he keeps pushing, has to keep pushing for the boy who has been failed by everyone he’s ever loved. Wisp failed him once too. Wisp betrayed him for a cold and calculating empire that didn’t care for him or anyone else on the planet. He regretted it the moment he got on the plane to the Antarctic Empire. Two weeks in the new hell he willingly walked into for a chance at power Tommy called him at three in the morning. Wisp will never forget that phone call or the way he was added back into the Business Bay group chat so soon after betraying them. It was a blessing. Wisp fully intended to keep all these boys safe and happy. He loved them, these boys who wore suits and scammed people for a living. These boys who had to cut down the body of their leader from the rafters of a supply shed. These boys who waited for days for the respawn process to bring Tommy back to them. 

Wisp breaks through to a field, the rain is still pouring and he sees his leader. Tommy looks so small. He looks defeated and exhausted, he looks like a man condemned to death alone and friendless. Bitzel swears harshly behind him and he hears Luke stifle a sob. It wasn’t just Tommy’s arms that were mangled. His legs are slashed to hell, Wisp thinks he can see a tendon flex from a particularly deep gash in the left leg. The right leg is even worse: “SELFISH” is scratched into it, fat rolls over the edge of the “H” and Wisp thinks if he wasn’t so used to gore adorning Tommy he would vomit. Tommy’s shoulders are bruised, from someone’s hands and Wisp feel hot, burning anger flood his veins. Has this boy not suffered enough?

Deo walks forward fists clenched tightly. They all see the dagger held in Tommy’s hands and how he’s transfixed on the way it glows in the soft morning sunlight. Wisp walks forward too, Luke and Bitzel follow behind, both of them are getting out new bandages and other wraps to contain the blood and viscera that paints Tommy’s body. Tommy looks up at them and smiles. Bitzel stifles a startled gasp of agony at the broken and grotesque smile on Tommy’s face. There is no joy or hope on his face, only pure disbelief and a grief too powerful to articulate. Deo deftly grabs the knife from the teenager’s hands, chucking it into the field far away from the boy shaking and bleeding in front of them. Wisp carefully reaches out a hand and Tommy throws himself into Wisp’s arms. The boy is soaked in rain water, it’ll be a miracle if he doesn’t get sick after this, there’s blood sticking uncomfortably to Wisp’s skin but he’ll endure it. He would endure anything for Tommy. 

Luke surges forward to adjust Tommy so that Wisp is holding him still but they can treat the various wounds decorating the pallet in front of them. Kudos to the painter the blood red paint missed no spot. Deo uncorks a healing potion and puts in a small basin. Bitzel soaks a long roll of bandages in the potion and Luke assesses what wounds need the most treatment. 

“Alright the spaces that have words carved into them need to be taken care of ASAP. Bitz hand Wisp a regen pot, Wisp make sure he drinks the whole thing.” Wisp nods and begins coaxing the boy to drink the potion in his hands. Luke grabs a soaked bandage and wraps it tight around Tommy’s arm, covering the evidence of his breakdown and is reminded of another time and another word. Tommy was young, too young to be leading a faction but he did it with pride and a tactical prowess that shocked everyone on the server, when he first got sick. It was a minor illness to most but Tommy didn’t have the immune system that the others had and the illness hit him like a truck hits a deer on a dark night. Tommy was delirious with fever and Luke was worried that he would have to respawn when Tommy started clutching his back like he was in pain. Nothing could have prepared Luke for the mess of scar tissue that covered Tommy’s back. Featured prominently on the middle of his back “MISTAKE” is written in a looping script that is frayed and bleeding at the edges. Horrified, Luke quickly covered and treated the wound while trying to not cry. He climbed into bed with Tommy after and just held the boy while he fell asleep. Luke knew that the scar had to have come from before SMPEarth and from when Tommy was quite young. He never asked but when Tommy told them about his childhood it was clear his mother was the culprit. She was the more violent and twisted parent. Tommy hated talking about her. It was sick. Tommy’s parents were scumbags who loved to beat up on the child that was depending on them for safety and shelter. Moving on to Tommy’s leg, Luke winced. It would be a long healing process and the regen pot was barely touching the copious wounds. Looking over at Bitzel he knew something was wrong.

Bitzel knew someone was watching them. Someone was getting some sick sense of pleasure at seeing Tommy so broken. Scanning the trees while helping Deo pass on bandages to Luke he sees a flash of pure white. The sunlight reflects off the material. Bitzel steadies his crossbow on his hip, lines up the target, and shoots. The resounding crack startles Tommy, who is quickly shushed by Wisp with reassuring murmurs and promises that he is safe, Bitzel tilts his head to Deo a silent question. Deo wordlessly gets up and Bitzel follows putting the soaked bandages near Luke and giving the medic a small nod of reassurance. They walk towards the sound and find Dream cowering in the soft sunlight that blankets the clearing in orange-yellow light. The all powerful god of the server reduced to a shaking mess after seeing beyond the façade Tommy put up to face the world.

“Didn’t realize it huh?” Bitzel barked out, “Never thought that the boy you loved to torment has a past. Never thought that the human being you broke over and over again had emotions? It’s funny I used to be scared of you, you were this legendary hunter, an apex predator. But now I look at you and see a fool. Go on dance for the king court jester, not even the devil can save your irredeemable soul.” Deo chuckles at Bitzel’s quip, and Bitzel sends the man a ferocious smirk. Bitzel has seen people like Dream before, hell he already took care of a creepy fuck who wanted to tear Tommy down. Bitzel enjoys ripping apart the enemies of his friends. He relishes in the way people lose hope when he threatens their lives. He loves when his friends clap him on the back when he comes to them after viciously destroying their enemies self-confidence. Loves it when Tommy smiles at him like he’s the only who will have his back. Adores when idiots think they can mock and ridicule his family. It's vindicating in all the right ways, it makes him feel powerful. 

Wisp is giving them a look that means they can’t play with the poor broken god at their feet anymore. Bitzel goes first, knowing that Deo will yell at him if he turns his back on the enemy and puts himself in harm’s way. Deo leaves with a stomp of his feet and a nasty glare towards Dream. Luke smiles at their antics and finishes patching up the wounds they can do field medicine on. All of them look down at Tommy, and the boy laughs quietly at the look remembering better days and the sound of the ocean’s waves. Wisp repositions Tommy so that Deo can pick him up, they need to move him quickly to somewhere safe and dry. Deo bends down and grabs the boy in a princess carry, easier to transport the smaller boy and to keep a tab on his injuries. Luke pushes another regen pot into Tommy’s shaky hands and urges him to drink.

Deo gives them all a serious look and takes off into the forest at a fast pace hoping to get a safe place to hide the boy so they can get out of this hellish server. Deo can feel Tommy sipping the potion, it’s good to know the kid still has some semblance of survival instincts. Reaching the edge of the forest Deo sees the obsidian walls that are the new marker of the nation of New L’Manberg. It’s a risky move to go to the nation that just banished the boy in his arms and he looks back to Wisp for confirmation on where they should try and find shelter for the day. Luke needs somewhere to lay Tommy down and properly assess the extent of all injuries, the heat that radiates from the boy’s body makes him think that infection is in the near future. Doesn’t help that the kid was sitting in the rain and cutting himself with a dagger covered in dirt and grime. Wisp tilts head towards L’Manberg and that’s all the confirmation Deo needs to charge headfirst into the walls. 

Someone yells at them as they advance and Luke drops to the front with a shield out, they all run faster. Tommy shakily raises his hand and points towards a house that has a light on. Luke leads the charge and runs past a child playing dress up, shouting about rules and exiles. A man with great black wings opens the door upon hearing the pounding of several pairs of feet on the wood leading up to his house. Philza Minecraft stands on the threshold of his house sleep deprived and shocked as a group of teenagers slam past him and lay his youngest son on his unmade bed. Tommy is still bleeding, the flesh on his arm is hanging by a flap and one look at Luke’s face tells Deo that they will have to perform some sort of surgery. 

Wisp slams into the cauldron and gathers a bucket of water flipping open the chest next to him grabbing a stack of coal to stuff in the furnace. Putting the bucket on top of the furnace to boil it. Bitzel rolls out a packet of surgical instruments and Deo sees Philza’s eyes widen in the corner of his vision but he quickly focuses back in on Tommy. 

“CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR CHRIST!” screams Luke.

The door slams and Tommy flinches softly and Deo is quick to run a hand through his hair. He is handed a pair of scissors and the sleeves of Tommy’s shirt fall to the floor a second later allowing easier access. Bitzel goes to Tommy’s head and inserts a small strip of leather so his tongue doesn’t get bitten off during the procedure. Luke snaps on a pair of latex gloves on his hands and moves into position. Tommy barely grimaces as Luke cuts off a chunk of flesh, the yellowish ooze that drips onto the floor signals infection and Wisp tuts at the sight. Bitzel is silently preparing a potion of Luke’s design to help hasten the process of healing an infection. It always baffled them how quickly Tommy fell to illness and infection. The boy once explained that a combination of malnourishment and stress in childhood suppressed his immune system so badly that he’s much more susceptible to maladies. Tommy’s pain receptors have always been better than the average player but even this is too far. He barely moves when Luke has to slice into another batch of scar tissue to make sure the muscles are intact. How much pain has this boy been put through for him to not feel the slice of a scalpel in his forearm? The leg needs a quick set of stitches and a major disinfection or else it may actually need to be removed. The sight of a tendon moving when they flex Tommy’s leg makes them all a little sick but it's welcome news. Better to be in pain than to not feel a thing. The last treatment is a quick rewrap of his arms and reapplying antibiotic ointment. Tommy spits out the leather and gives a quick smile to Deo before passing out. They hear the slump of a man sliding down the front door and Luke looks to Philza unimpressed. 

“Bitzel after the potion is done make sure to wake up Tommy. Make sure he drinks it all. Deo, Wisp we have work to do outside this house. Philza surely you can show us who runs this place?” Luke inquiries. The man in question gives them an incredulous look, getting up slowly, shakily and avoids looking at the bed containing Tommy. Opening the door revealed a small mob on the little stage-like platform that resides directly outside of Philza’s house. 

“hmmmmm ~~ seems like we have a party to entertain boys! To whom do we owe the pleasure of getting this shindig together?” Wisp asks sarcastically.

“My name is President Tubbo and you are trespassing on New L’Manberg property and harboring a fugitive that was supposed to be killed on sight if he ever stepped foot within the L’Manberg boundaries.” 

A sharp cackle rings throughout the clearing. Deo stands tall and points to the trail of blood that gives away the path they traveled to get to the cursed nation built on top of a crater.

“Honestly, I’m not surprised that this piece of shit has fallen to two different sieges. Have you not realized that your strongest warrior is a child in a uniform three times too big to fit him. You are all weak because none of you know what true strength is, you would rather betray and backstab each other rather than love and care for your fellow soldier. The boy in that house has shown more strength than anyone here. You don’t deserve him, you never deserved him.” Luke’s voice is tinged with hostility and it’s clear by the look in everyone’s eyes that they were never expecting someone to stand up for Tommy.

“We’ll be staying for a few days and then we’re taking Tommy and leaving. There’s a private server that will allow Tommy the chance to fucking heal. The trauma you lot have caused him is monumental and none of you knew about the shit that has already happened to him. Don’t bother coming to the house. If Tommy wants to see you he’ll tell us himself.” Deo leaves no room for interruption or objection. The three men look out to a crowd of adults that failed their little brother and feel only disgust.

“And President Tubbo, turning your back on the boy you call your best friend is a particularly bad look. Though the adults treating you like an angel and Tommy like the devil incarnate is also pretty bad… I guess everyone on this server is shit.” Wisp taunts. The trio turn around and walk back into Philza’s house. “Oh… we’re gonna need to borrow this place Philza, glad you don’t mind.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there. I could continue this? But I'm not too sure. Also thanks for reading if you did. I'm fine :)


End file.
